26 and Counting

I've been avoiding this particular post like the plague, but it's time to have the talk. On June 10th I turned 26. I always look back on my journey and go over the life to do list. Long story short it hit me like a ton of bricks this is not where I thought I would be and it's not where I want to be either. Gulp. The bottom line is I'm 26, broke, and holding on to the thought that I have an IRA like that some how proves I use to be something, use to be. Again tough to swallow.

The other day I was sweeping the restaurant when I overheard two men talking about utilizing social media to gain more readers for a pacific northwest magazine. A thought popped into my head, I should be sitting at that table, not sweeping underneath it. It hurt my heart.

I also know in my heart I had to walk away from KREM, but my head still doesn't know that. I've always defined myself as news producer, career woman, independent. Now, at 26 none of those words describe me. I turned my own world upside down, I did this, but I still struggle with the aftermath. My mom tells me to remember that this is only temporary, my current situation, but walking away from KREM is irreversible. "What have I done?", I lay in bed thinking. The free fall fun is over. Reality is back and I'm not sure what to do about it. I still enjoy going to work everyday. I love spending time with my dogs. I love going to church, volunteering and being happy. BUT. There's a but. Can I ever have it all? All of those things plus a career I'm proud of? Will I ever have that again? The truth comes out.

I wanted to keep this blog the happy blog, the positive blog BUT I had to write the truth too. The truth will set you free the Bible tells us so I had to be honest with all of you. It helps me remember to be honest with myself. I love you all. Every. Single. Day.